like those signs that say
it’s been __ days since our last incident
in my head i tally the waking hours
since you left
since you last conversed with me in your drunken stupor
since your cat left its final mark on my
causing me to bleed and scar leaving a faint reminder
and still I hold on
continually ripping pages
adding days and hours
and bodies, bones that I have compared you to
to which somehow yours remain inimitable
there is no reasoning behind this outside of nonsensical notions I’ve drummed up in my head
or that the last incident was too catastrophic that I cannot bear to start anew
Albina Press in Portland, OR
Now, it’s hard to say what kind of person one will become in this dehumanizing world.
In any situation there are positions, expectations
a lot of things can be pleasurable in one setting and painful in the next.
(Getting caught in the rain for example.)
It is not the individual, however
it is never just the ‘I’ or the ‘you’
that determines anything that will - be
The greatness of the entire universe is not expanding for anyone
it is expanding so it does not rip apart at the seams
so it does not remain static, to continuously evolve and create chaos.
You can embrace the changes
or remain trapped in the sameness or the saneness.
When you separate your body and your will, welcome conflict
allow the cosmic sadness to engulf the convolutions of the mind.
The uncertainty will be even more rapturous than before but,
there’s a reason it’s impossible to say what will become,
or is to come
or should be done
inevitably it is as much the decision of the clouds that formed this rain than it is mine.
A bouquet of clumsy words:
You know that place between sleep and awake where you’re still dreaming, but it’s slowly slipping? I wish we could feel like that more often.
I also wish I could click my fingers three times and be transported to anywhere I like.
I wish that people didn’t always say “just wondering” when you both know there was a real reason behind them asking.
And I wish I could get lost in the stars.
Listen, there’s a hell of a universe out there. Let’s go.
"Each person is an idiom unto himself, an apparent violation of the syntax of the species."