I will have had this blog for 5 years
on my 22nd birthday this year.
I started this whole journey on my 17th birthday, 08 June 2009.
It was the last day of my junior year of high school, I remember going home and crying that afternoon, I cried a lot back then in the heat of my angst-ridden teenage years. I don’t remember why I cried, I’m sure it was because someone irrelevant to my life today had hurt my feelings.
In truth, I started this blog because of a boy. It was the first boy I’d ever liked. He too, is irrelevant to my life today, but of course it didn’t feel like that at that time. After 5 years and a couple of other boys and a myriad of changes, this blog just became about me and my stupid relationship with this website, I’ve tried to quit, I have definitely lost some sleep over this, I’ve given it up for lent and I’ve foolishly created side blogs that I ended up dumping eventually. I look back and think how odd it is to have formed this relationship with a creative outlet. But in retrospect that’s how I feel about it. Like I’m friends with my blog and I have to share interesting things with it and tell it cryptic stories about my life. I have to check on it in case its going through some changes, or if it has anything exciting or scandalous to share.
I’ve seen this website change as much as I have in the past 5 years. I’ve seen tumblr get rid of tumblarity, get bought out by yahoo, get infiltrated with fandom after fandom. But me and fatalflaw have maintained. After 5 years, the meaning and the personality of my blog has changed but the url has stayed the same. I think that’s the most revealing part about my entire blog, that I chose and have kept the name fatalflaw. It’s true I do find a fatal flaw in the logic of love, and it is true I do still enjoy my fair share of The Shins. But it seems, as I grow older, this blog is my fatal flaw. This blog that I’ve kept for so long as an outlet to creativity that could have been more purposeful elsewhere. The ridiculous amount of time I’ve spent on this website I will never get back.In the process of writing this post I’ve somehow decided that 5 years may be just the life span of this blog. As I turn 22, I definitely feel like It may be time to break up with tumblr, and go our separate ways. But thankfully, it doubt it will ever disappear, whenever I’m feeling nostalgic I can just revisit my 5 year long archive and see it in its arrested state of what I found as a 17-21 year-old as perfect and beautiful.
I have been waiting all year to post this.
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.YES
omg i didnt reblog this last year!
If it’s a trend it’s not timeless.
i find it really angering that abusive friendships aren’t addressed as much as abusive relationships. they’re both very much alike, horrible, and do a great deal of damage. its hard to talk to someone about leaving an abusive friend and feel like you’re being taken seriously